Health Update

I wasn’t ready to write these words on the Internet back then. But I am now. And I want to. Not out of a prurient desire to share intimate details of my sex life – sorry to disappoint – but because I truly never believed it would be possible. I believed that lots of people could get better and heal from vulvodynia/ vaginismus; I just didn’t think I was one of them. And perhaps there’s someone out there who feels exactly the same, and needs to hear me testify to the change in my narrative.

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Diary of a Broken Vagina: My Mental Health

For World Mental Health Day, I’ve written about my experience of chronic pain & its effect on my mental health. CW: depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal ideation. Look after yourselves ❤

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Host

A poem about how pain can feel like it takes over your identity. Written in a flare. Any Spoonies who can relate, please make yourself known in the comments!

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Pelvic Pain Awareness Month – the Spoonie Tag

For me, every month is pelvic pain awareness month. Nevertheless, I thought I’d honour this by completing the ‘Spoonie’ blogging tag and carry on my ‘Diary of a Broken Vagina’ series. Prepare to know me a lot better.

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The Letter I Never Sent

For two years, I had the privilege of dating a wonderful young man. This is the letter I wrote him but never sent – redrafted with added years of hindsight (which, as we all know, is 20/20). It’s about love, and remorse, and theft, and getting things totally, totally wrong.

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Useful Reads

Want to know more about chronic pelvic pain, self-help, and vaginas more generally? Of course you do. Here’s my entirely-not-definitive list of useful articles, books and even the odd video.

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Diary of a Broken Vagina: An Introduction

For about seven years now, I have lived with a dirty secret. When it first came to my attention aged 17, I kept it to myself, letting it rot inside me and making me feel utterly freakish and disgusting.

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Hymen Practice

WARNING. DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH ABOUT FEMALE BODIES AND/OR DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MINE AND/OR ARE MY DAD.

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Uptight

In my first meeting with the Women’s Health Physiotherapist, she did an internal examination. In the second meeting, she forgot my name. No, she couldn’t remember my name, but she’d had her fingers inside my vaginal tract. Welcome to the weirdness of pelvic floor therapy.

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